Letting the Dream Go Even When You Worked Hard for It

Decision making is a crucial part of functioning in life. We make decisions about everything on a daily basis and without even knowing it. Wake up, drink water, perform personal hygiene activities, turn on the television, turn off the television, watch the news, log on to our social media accounts, participate on a post, post a thought or meme….decisions.

Then there are those cringe worthy decisions that we need to make. Those are the ones that can make or break our day. My life has been filled with decisions when I had to let go of things that had required a lot of time and energy on my part. What are some of the decisions that you’ve had to make that made you feel as if you were either crawling into a pit or out of it? I can think of a few…

  • Divorce
  • Move jobs
  • Move where you live
  • Let go of a relationship
  • Letting someone know exactly how you felt about something (and not in the best way)
  • Stop smoking/drinking/drugs/pornography
  • Ask your family member to move out of your house
  • Quit a job
  • Change careers
  • Move your child from schools
  • Homeschooling your children
  • Change churches
  • ….you add the rest

The truth is that we’ve all had to make decisions that felt wrong at the time. I remember walking away from a promotion that felt right. It would’ve placed my family in a stronger financial situation; the position would had given me wider projects to expand my network. Nevertheless, somewhere deep inside I just knew that it was wrong for me. The job was a full fit; yet I somehow knew that it was not meant to be.

There was another time when I had to reconsider my academic journey. I had been conducting research for many years, it seemed fit to pursue the research from an educational perspective. Nevertheless, things were not going as planned. Anyone that has engaged in completing a doctoral path understands this. It is not the type of education that ends with a “terminal degree.” This means that the researcher may complete the study within the time frame stipulated by the school, or not. If the individual does not finish within the time frame, he or she is asked to simply “stop.” This is a kinder way of saying “you are not going to graduate.” Or worse yet: “You will not be a doctor.”

The pain. Yet, we are reminded that success should never reside on titles, wealth, beauty, or connections. As I look up at my Father, I am reminded that the battle that I am fighting has already been won. It does not seem like it from where I am standing, but to Him it has already been done. It brings comfort to my heart to know that I do not have to be alone or afraid. That there is nothing new under the sun.

Mark 8:36 “For what does it profit a man to gain the whole world and forfeit his soul?”

I stand prayerfully in your struggle. I pray that you know when to say goodbye. I pray that you do not perceive a stop as a synonym of losing.

Philippians 3:7-8 “But whatever things were gain to me, those things I have counted as loss for the sake of Christ. More than that, I count all things to be loss in view of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them but rubbish so that I may gain Christ,”

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