I will start this entry with an extremely trivial sentence: disappointments are bound to happen, and you will experience them. Also, I need to make a full disclaimer here before we get started: this short essay will repetitively and consecutively use the word disappointment (or variations of it) all throughout. My advanced apologies for disappointing you.
Alright….now that we got that out of the way: Let’s press on.
There are so many questions that I have about disappointment; wouldn’t you agree? Is it a feeling? Is it an action (verb)? Is it an adjective to describe a feeling or something else? Is it an additive to something worse…or better? There are so many questions about disappointment, but the greatest one that I have is as follows and has lots to do with people:
If we dislike disappointment so much, why do we do it to each other?
You see? The secret to this great mystery stems from the mere practice of it. The “each other” is derived from engaging people, a person, in the practice of disappointments. It is not the same to be the disappointed than to be the “disappointer.” The one that engages in the practice of disappointing does not feel the full effect of being at the receiving end. The disappointer may know exactly what he or she is doing, that person may enjoy or dread the practice. The bottom line is that this individual does not get to feel the full effect of what is being done to the individual receiving the disappointment.
That is unless their disappointing actions result in them being rejected, hence being disappointed by the received rejection.
Yet, we cannot control how the receiving individual will react. The receiver may not view the disappointment as a disappointment. They may see it as a higher or lower offense. They may not see an offence at all!
I can hear my late grandmother’s voice: “do unto others as you would have them do unto you” (Matt. 7:12).
Oh please…you knew I was headed this direction. Didn’t I disclose to you that I would bee trivial? Yet, the Bible is anything but trivial. It is direct, hurtful, approachable yet distant at times. No one likes to hear that they’ve done wrong. Those that acknowledge their wrongdoing and have experienced spiritual changes, look for a way to fix their messiness.
I am here to tell you that unless you open the door to true spiritual change, you will never get up. As a matter of fact, you may fall deeper into the mess because NOW you know there are needed changes yet won’t know how to accomplish these.
I will give you the way in which I have changed. I am, after-all, an expert at disappointing.
- Read your Bible. Start from Abraham’s story; this is how I got started. I just didn’t find the Garden of Eden a starting point for me. I felt troubled by the Holy Spirit to start somewhere where I would learn and understand.
- Read your Bible. How can you get to know a God whose voice you cannot recognize or hear? He draws you near, but you have to want it.
- Read your Bible AND research what you find if you don’t get it. Past history has a way of repeating itself. Trust me, our world has been decaying into sin for a very long time. You will find that many of the situations of today are anything but new.
- Read your Bible. He whispers freedom. FREEDOM.
Disappointment has a way to creep up, but there’s a way to minimize the problem of feeling inadequate, betrayed, and alone. If you revisit past disappointments, you will see that these do not hold the weight today that they did at the time they happened. This is because you are in a very different season. You graduated; it doesn’t hurt as much as it used to.
Then you get to where I am slowly getting. Disappointments are your diploma to greater things. You cannot take on greater meaningful responsibilities if you cannot handle certain degrees of disappointment.
Luke 16:10 “Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much, and whoever is dishonest with very little will also be dishonest with much.”
Be free. Be trusted. Grow, develop, and stand up.